Adrian’s Story
Adrian shares his cleft journey with us and how his experience has influenced how he treats others.
When you think back on your cleft journey, what is one moment that stands out to you? What is the first memory you think of?
“My earliest memories are of my yearly visits to St George’s Hospital Hyde Park Corner as a young child. How nervous I felt waiting to be assessed by the surgery team, hoping there would be an all-clear outcome and dreading the prospect of another operation”.
What would you tell your younger self? Is there anything you were worried about when you were younger that you’re not worried about anymore?
“As a youngster, I hated all the hospital visits, operations, and monthly visits to St George’s Tooting dental unit. As I reflect, I see how lucky I was to get the care I got, those wonderful people dedicating their lives to help improve mine. I wish I could have seen it at the time”.
What do you want people to remember about what it’s like to be affected by cleft lip and palate?
“The cleft doesn’t define who we are; it’s how we overcome the challenges that define us. Be strong”.
Were there any unexpected positives about your cleft journey?
“I’ve had a good career. When I think of the challenges I faced as a child/younger man, I appreciate my achievements more. Some say I’ve been lucky; I say I’ve been determined, and I’ve worked hard”.
How did your experiences change you?
“I’m a kind man, and I treat people with dignity, empathy, and respect. I know how it feels to be treated badly, and I won’t treat others how I’ve been treated. I get upset when I see people being unkind to each other. I gained self-awareness through the difficulties I overcame on my journey”.
“I’m a kind man, and I treat people with dignity, empathy, and respect. I know how it feels to be treated badly, and I won’t treat others how I’ve been treated. I get upset when I see people being unkind to each other. I gained self-awareness through the difficulties I overcame on my journey”.
What is one piece of advice you wish you had received at an important moment on your journey so far?
“Growing up, I was told that I wouldn’t be judged by my cleft and that people would see me for the person I am. This has been true in most aspects of my life. But the harsh fact is that people do see it, and they do judge it. I wish someone had the courage to be honest, tell me I will be judged, and to wear my scars with pride for the challenges I’ve overcome”.
If you could give your past self some words of encouragement about how your journey will go, what would they be?
“I missed a lot of school due to surgery and hospital appointments. So I settled for the fact that I wouldn’t reach a high level of education. Never settle. Put in the extra time, find out what you missed, and learn it. Don’t use your situation to excuse failure; strive to be the best you can despite it.
Thank you to Adrian for sharing your story!
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