Fans of Channel 4’s First Dates may recognise Kazzi from her appearance on the programme a few years ago.
Recalling the restaurant-based reality show, she laughed: “It was a bit of fun and nice to put myself out there, and be, ‘hey, yes I have a cleft lip and palate, but I still want to date like everyone else’.
“I got lots of positive reviews from it, saying it was good to see a girl with a cleft on TV. People said it was really heartwarming to watch. I haven’t actually seen it yet, just screenshots and photos, as I hate listening to myself talk!
“My date was lovely, but it didn’t really feel romantic so we just stayed friends.”
Kazzi’s story begins at Mother Teresa’s orphanage in Calcutta, India, where she was looked after by nuns before being adopted and moved to Surrey.
It took until adulthood to shake off that feeling of rejection.
“There’s a photo of me somewhere with Mother Teresa. I don’t recall much, except a vivid memory of looking outside a circular window with a cross on it.
“My mum couldn’t look after me because she was so young and poor. It took until adulthood to shake off that feeling of rejection, and it can still hurt a little now. I went back to see the orphanage when I was 18 and it was funny how it still felt like home.”
Kazzi was born with a unilateral cleft lip and palate, and had her initial lip repair surgery in India when she was two years old. She was adopted shortly afterwards, along with her ‘brother’ with whom she shared a cot.
She smiled: “We were in the same cot – a kind of ‘buy one, get one free’. He’s a week older than me – different parents, but we’re just like siblings. We’re still really close and talk every day.”
Kazzi was adopted by an English dad and Filipino mum, and continued her cleft treatment when she arrived in the UK.
“I remember lots of hospital appointments and having work done all over the place, on my speech, hearing, eating, drinking, and teeth. I finally got discharged from the cleft team last year, aged 30 – after 26 years.
“I’m still more susceptible to colds, and get regular sinus infections, but apart from that it’s all good. There’s no food or drink coming out my nose anymore, so that’s handy.”
Kazzi said she first encountered “being the odd one out” in high school, and reached out to CLAPA to meet other children born with cleft.
I really wanted to meet another kid with a cleft lip so I wouldn’t feel alone.
“In primary school no one saw me as the girl with the cleft lip, people just saw me as me. But going into high school, especially year seven, was quite tough because some of the bigger kids would point and laugh.
“I was the only girl in the school with a cleft. My friends were very supportive but I really wanted to meet another kid with a cleft lip so I wouldn’t feel alone.
“I remember finding CLAPA online when I was about 11. I was looking on what we had back in my day – MSN and Myspace. I looked for cleft lips and found the CLAPA website.
“I thought at first it was just for babies, but then I saw a picture of a kid. And then it said something about days out, and I asked my dad to take me.”
Kazzi joined one of CLAPA’s activity days in Shropshire, including climbing and archery, with a group of children also born with a cleft.
“I was quite nervous going up there, but it was really enjoyable and great to be around other kids with cleft. It answered a lot of my anxieties about being the only one, and made me feel much less alone.”
The talks were fascinating and there were great activities where I felt my opinion mattered.
Since then, Kazzi has been a very active member of the CLAPA community, on our Facebook groups, and attending more and more events as an adult, including the adults’ conference.
“There were so many people with cleft at the conference, it was brilliant. The talks were fascinating, there were great activities where I felt my opinion mattered, and I met so many people and made new friends. We’re still in touch now, and still meet up.
“CLAPA’s like a lifeline – to know you’re not alone and there’s someone else who’s feeling exactly how you’re feeling.”
Kazzi is a member of CLAPA’s main Facebook groups, and created a 25 and over separate group “for us millennials”.
“I’ve met up with a few from our Facebook group locally, and that’s been lovely. Now I have more friends who grew up the same way I did, and who just understand about the operations and hospitals etc.
“I’ve joined in the CLAPA Lounge, adults’ focus groups, am part of the PPI focus group, and gave my opinion for the dental campaign.
“Finding the CLAPA website was the best thing I ever did. I’ve loved being part of the CLAPA community ever since.”
CLAPA’s like a lifeline – to know you're not alone and there's someone else who's feeling exactly how you're feeling